[ tseng hears the rush of breath that leaves rufus and it makes something ache in his chest, something entirely unrelated to the still-healing scars beneath his clothes. were anyone else in the room, rufus would never let himself react this way, with an audible and obvious emotional response—and somehow, the fact that he does so now makes it no easier for tseng to decide whether or not he's dreaming.
on the one hand, he would know rufus' voice anywhere, but even he doesn't think his subconscious could recreate rufus shinra in such beautiful, devastating clarity. on the other hand, it seems like a thing of dreams to think that rufus' rare, precious show of emotion could be because of him.
rufus was right about one thing: tseng would have been happy to die in the line of duty. he would have regretted the mess he left in the lobby and the disorganized state of his succession planning, yes, but he would never have regretted giving his life on rufus' orders. what rufus was wrong about, though, is that tseng would have been dying for the company. that's not it at all. he would have been dying for rufus—and rufus is now the company, so it's sort of one and the same, but at the end of the day rufus shinra is where tseng's loyalty lies. and if that means putting it all on the line for the mission, where the mission is to get rufus what he wants—what he deserves—then how could tseng ever regret it? ]
I'll remember... you said that.
[ he must be dreaming. either that or he's too high to tell the difference. surely this will matter to him at some point, but it certainly doesn't matter now. tseng closes his eyes again, then opens them, his head turning slightly to look at rufus and darkstar. moving more than that feels like too big a task, but he wants to look at rufus, really look at him. ]
Are you all right? [ he should ask about the others, too, and about the mission, the temple. he doesn't ask about them. it takes him a long moment to lick his dry lips and then add, ] Sir.
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on the one hand, he would know rufus' voice anywhere, but even he doesn't think his subconscious could recreate rufus shinra in such beautiful, devastating clarity. on the other hand, it seems like a thing of dreams to think that rufus' rare, precious show of emotion could be because of him.
rufus was right about one thing: tseng would have been happy to die in the line of duty. he would have regretted the mess he left in the lobby and the disorganized state of his succession planning, yes, but he would never have regretted giving his life on rufus' orders. what rufus was wrong about, though, is that tseng would have been dying for the company. that's not it at all. he would have been dying for rufus—and rufus is now the company, so it's sort of one and the same, but at the end of the day rufus shinra is where tseng's loyalty lies. and if that means putting it all on the line for the mission, where the mission is to get rufus what he wants—what he deserves—then how could tseng ever regret it? ]
I'll remember... you said that.
[ he must be dreaming. either that or he's too high to tell the difference. surely this will matter to him at some point, but it certainly doesn't matter now. tseng closes his eyes again, then opens them, his head turning slightly to look at rufus and darkstar. moving more than that feels like too big a task, but he wants to look at rufus, really look at him. ]
Are you all right? [ he should ask about the others, too, and about the mission, the temple. he doesn't ask about them. it takes him a long moment to lick his dry lips and then add, ] Sir.